…money for mine
I have an aneurysm. (look it up, I had to). Or, in the interests of accuracy, an abdominal aortic aneurysm. Known, imaginatively, as a “triple A”. (which is what I need to quote if I call an ambulance because apparently it’ll make them drive faster)!
It will eventually need an operation but in the meantime it isn’t really a problem. Except of course for the constant round of scans, tests, consultant visits (A very nice man is Mr Ali) and medical acronyms.* (I had an EchoCardiograph and got told off when I referred to it as an ECG). I should say now that the operation, when it happens, is a very common one and is unlikely to go wrong but as this blog is not supposed to be too depressing I promise not to bore you with the details if it does kills me. To help avoid that I positively rattle every morning with various Statins, ARB’s, Aspirin and whatever. Boots Pharmacy phoned me the other day to see if I had any to spare… Back to the electrocardiogram: It showed that there are no other problems (apart from the aneurysm). At least I think that’s the case based on the following, taken verbatim from a consultants letter.
“…his ECG showed that he is in sinus rhythm and that his electrocardiogram showed preserved left ventricular systolic function at rest with normal valvular function…” That’s all right then. Isn’t it?
One thing I must do (so I am told) is to take abdominal pain seriously. I am instructed to go to A and E immediately because if the aneurysm bursts I coud bleed to death in minutes. The problem is that I am told I should not go to Epsom A and E even though it is only 5 minutes away. They have been downgraded and can’t deal with me. Instead I have to go to St Helier which, even with the undoubted skills of the ambulance service, is at least 20 minutes away. I had better be careful or NHS cutbacks will be the death of me.
Thankfully I don’t, for now at least, need new hips or knees. However if I did Epsom Hospital could cope with that and have them supplied and fitted in no time. I would be back on my feet in days. (unless they were replaced as well, obviously). This is all, of course, subject to the size of my bank balance.
I think there may be a moral there…
* MRA – magnetic resonance angiography – been there, done that.
MI – myocardial infarction – Heart attack to you and me. Umlikely, given the medication.
STENT – Not an acronym but should be. It is apparently what I will have inserted!
ARB – angiotensin receptor blocker – reduces risk of heart attack in surgery. Apparently. Hopefully!
ECG – Electrocardiogram
And finally. A couple of weeks ago my most recent scan, an ultrasound, showed that I am not pregnant. Guess I’d better cancel the Daily Mail interview then.