Apart from a few bouncing cheques i have written nothing creative since school. I doubt the following will change that but give me time…
My first ever blog was going to be about Englands chances in the Brazil World Cup: However the words “none at all” don’t lend themselves to being creative do they?
Ok then, here we go. There are a number of you out there… well a few… OK two, who have known me a long time.
Have I always whinged as much as I seem to do now?
Facebook is a classic example. I used to (almost) enjoy it but it just seems to be full of mindless tat these days. (Some of this is posted by me but in my defence that is often to take the p*ss out of those who post the tat). Otherwise I rarely post anything that isn’t complaining about something so it is clearly catching but it wasn’t always like this, was it?
I really don’t want to take a survey telling me what type of fruit I am (cucumber), what my favorite colour (color for my American reader**) is (red), or what type of animal I am (Duckbilled Platypus)! Another thing… I obviously want, for example, a cure for all cancers found today however I object to peple telling me I must share that fact via a tacky poster. I do not respond to moral blackmail but many do, hence my clogged up wall.
There are some who ignore my personal messages on Facebook but still manage to contact me when they need a life on Candy Crush Saga. STOP IT. I maybe should have ended that sentence on “need a life…” (Not you Gary).
I had a recent spell away from this electronic nightmare and I was absolutely shocked at the lack of response. Nobody knocked on my door to show me a picture of the table full of drinks in front of them. No one brought round a photo of their ice cream sundae and amazingly some people actually managed to contact me even though I wasn’t on Facebook. Thank god for the recent invention of the telephonic communication device.
I would like to think I haven’t changed rather that Facebook has moved from moderately amusing to becoming the home of the banal. However I am still there with my share of banality so I guess not so the title is right – It is my age.
Finally: There is actually only one proper writer in what’s left of our family. So apologies to Jackie for this insult to the family “literary” name. If anyone asks you could always say I was adopted.
The second, and hopefully better, ItchyScratchy blog will be along very soon. Entitled “That’s me in the corner” there is a prize for guessing the subject matter.
**Thinks to self** Will anyone actually read this?
**Also for my American reader: There is no such thing as “American English”. There is English and there are mistakes.